CO2 Offsets / Indulgences 2.0

Carbon offsets are the modern-day equivalent of medieval indulgences – paying a priest to erase your sins while you keep on sinning. Back in the day, you’d slip some gold to the Church to dodge purgatory; now, you fork over cash to a green scheme, and poof, your private jet’s CO2 emissions magically disappear, right? Wrong. The atmosphere doesn’t care about your receipt. Bill Gates dumped 1,568 tons of CO2 in 2022 flying his four jets, then threw $7 million at Climeworks to “offset” it – those tons are still cooking the planet now, not in 2050 when a carbon-sucking gizmo or a sapling in Brazil might (or might not) kick in. Same goes for Mark Carney, ex-Bank of Canada governor turned climate crusader, pushing net-zero while jetting to Davos and COP summits – his offsets don’t un-burn the fuel either. The sin – emitting greenhouse gases – still happens; the harm’s done no matter how much you pay to pretend otherwise.

Beating the Wife with Diamond Credits

Picture a guy smacking his wife, then handing her a diamond necklace to “offset” it. The bruise is still there, the pain is still real, and the diamond doesn’t un-break her jaw. That’s carbon offsets. Prince Harry nailed this in 2019 – four private jet trips in 11 days, 60 tons of CO2, all while preaching climate action. He claimed offsets made it “neutral.” Sure, Harry – the planet’s still frying, but you’ve got your diamond credits. Meanwhile, Carbon Tax Carney – Mark Carney – hypes carbon pricing and offsets as UN climate envoy, yet his globetrotting for Brookfield Asset Management (where he’s vice-chair) spews emissions he absolves with the same scam.

The wife’s still bruised, Mark.

Poisoning the Well

Picture this: you poison the village well, then pay a guy to dig a new one – someday, maybe – in another town. The villagers are still sick, but you’re “offsetting” it, so relax! That’s Justin Trudeau, Canada’s eco-warrior PM, who jetted to Tofino for a beach vacation in 2021 while pushing carbon taxes on regular folks. His government’s own data shows federal travel emissions hit 11,000 tons of CO2 that year – enough to match the methane of 3,600 farting cows. He offsets some of it, sure, but the fuel’s already burned, the damage is done, and Justin is still wagging his finger at farmers and truckers to cut back. It’s like a medieval lord taxing peasants for firewood while he burns a forest to heat his castle. And now he’s passing the torch off to Carney.

The Elite’s Harm: Real Examples

Bill Gates: His 66,000-square-foot Xanadu 2.0 burns 100 tons of CO2 yearly, jets aside. He lectures us to eat bugs and skip flights while his lifestyle is 60X the average American’s 16-ton footprint. Hypocrisy? He’s got four jets on speed dial.

Prince Harry: His 2019 jet spree hit 60 tons in 11 days; he’s also flown private to Google’s Sicily climate summit (15 tons). He shames us for not biking while playing eco-saint.

Justin Trudeau: His frequent COP26 flights and beach vacations generate thousands of tons of emissions, while he imposes carbon taxes on the poor in the name of the environment. This approach creates a double burden—adding to pollution while putting financial pressure on ordinary people.

Mark Carney: As Carbon Tax Carney, he’s been evangelizing carbon pricing and offsets since his Bank of England days. At Brookfield, managing $600 billion, he greenwashes fossil fuel investments while jetting to climate talks – emissions undisclosed, but his 2021 COP26 trek alone likely added tons. He’s scolded nations for not taxing carbon enough, yet his elite life floats above the rules.

The Real Harm and Hypocrisy

The harm isn’t just the emissions – it’s the sanctimonious gall. Gates wants us eating lab meat and bugs while he jets to yacht parties. Harry and Meghan nag us about sustainability from 40,000 feet. Regular folks can’t jet-set and offset; we’re stuck biking in the rain while they sip champagne at 40,000 feet. Trudeau taxes your pickup while surfing on your dime. Carbon Tax Carney pitches offsets and carbon taxes to “save” us, yet his Brookfield gig bankrolls oil and gas – $40 billion in fossil fuel investments by 2021, per critics like Reclaim Finance. Their preaching stings worse because they are privileged and untouchable – offsets are their get-out-of-jail-free card, while we’re stuck pedaling in the mud. The planet warms and the poor pay while their halos gleam brighter. It’s not salvation – it’s a hustle; and they’re nothing more than GRIFTERS laughing at YOU all the way to Davos.